Epiphany, at the age of 28.

So I learned something about myself today. Ok so actually this morning about 5:30 am. Lets set the tone hear. I was at the gym for about 30 minutes and the plan for the gym today was that we were supposed to do circuits today. Meaning you go from one machine to the next and perform the exercise. Great, I thought to myself I will start out on the treadmill and work my way around. All is going well, but then I soon realize that starting on one of the last treadmills has some huge disadvantages. Ok that means I am going to have to go to treadmill to treadmill until I have completed the workout on all 5 treadmills before I even move over to the actual strength training machines. So to you this might not seem like a huge task. Or some may say piece of cake, but can I just tell you when running at a speed of 5 my legs fill like j-ello. Oh yes side note you are not supposed to adjust the speed or incline on each treadmill. Each one set separately. So with that being said I am on my 4th treadmill and filling dead. Yes 30 minutes into the workout and my body is hating me. So I get to this treadmill at it is on an incline of 15 and a speed of 6. This is where the story gets good. I seriously look at it and decide I need to take the speed down a notch. Well this didn’t go over so well with my trainer. As he starts to walk over and states in a loud and stern voice nobody adjusts the speed or incline except me. He reaches over and starts to increase the speed. At this point with sweat running down my neck I look at him and say “screw you”. Yes can you believe it that is what little old Heather said. I was a little shocked, but oh I was sooo mad. I just glared at him. He adjusted my speed and said “push yourself” at this point all I could think is how much of a jerk he is. Oh I gave him the look you know the I am so mad at you if you were standing right next to me I might punch you look. So he let me be for a minute, and then he decided it was time to walk back over and talk to me again. Ohhhh now this didn’t go over well with me. I looked at him and said “ I am done, I am out of here”…as I got off the treadmill and headed to the break room to grab my stuff. Feww I thought to myself I will just walk out of here a 30 minute workout is good enough, and I have had enough today. Well that did not fly with him. So he talked to me he told me he was sorry if he offended me. I just listened. He told me that he knows I can push myself and how he doesn’t want me to get in the box and not break out of it. Yeah yeah yeah…I thought to myself. I was determined I was going to leave. He kept telling me don’t quit just get back out there and finish the hour. Ok so after swallowing my pride, because I am sure a few people noticed I walked back in and finished things out. Ok so for the next 30 minutes I started to think about what had just happened. What was really going on in my head. And here is the epiphany. I am mentally weak. This is the reason I am the way I am. I never realized how weak I am when it comes to overcoming physical things, but now as I look back every time I quit an exercise program was because it was too hard, and well I gave into myself. I couldn’t believe after 28 years I realized why I have never reached my goals of physical fitness. I am just weak, and now its time to work through this. Poor trainer who had to deal with me today. But don’t worry after the workout I did go over and apologize to him. He said no big deal he understands. Well I am happy I finished the hour out and well with results of 7.5 lbs lost in the last 2 weeks, I am going to have to keep going.

The beginning again!

So my lovely friend Daja talked me into signing up for Boot-Camp. Now its not boot-camp in the sense of I'm serving my country now. Its boot-camp in the sense of its time to get my butt kicked into gear. Check out the website. And if you decide to enroll, drop my name.

http://www.boot-camp4u.com/

So with that being said I signed up on the 5th and then had my official start day on the 9th of February. Seriously what was i thinking. They strapped on a 25lb vest which put me over the 300lb mark. Yes i know I have really let things get out of control, but maybe just writing a few things here will keep me going.

The first week was one of the hardest, yet rewarding things I have ever done. I have not pushed myself so hard in a long time. They want me to journal all of my food and limit my calories and work hard. i must admit the first day doing it i was thinking to myself i actually am paying to torture myself. This is crazy! Its hard, it sucks, but i know its what has to be done. I want so much to be healthier, but gosh i guess i didn't realize just how out of shape I was until they put me on treadmill and wanted me to run. Are you kidding me I said, you really want me to run? Have you seen me? Have you seen how big I am, no seriously look at me. You want me to run...lol. Needless to say it was a long week with some pain, and I have found that ibuprofen is my one true friend. Now on to week 2, without the vest hopefully i will feel the difference. Although I did weigh in on Monday and well I am down 4lbs. Wahooo one step in the right direction.

Technical difficulties

I am trying to upload some pictures to go with my below post, but currently I am having some problems. So I will work on that and get back to you.

Catch up time...

Ok well its time I catch everyone up on life over the past few months. It sure does feel like I have to do this a lot, due to the fact that I am not in the best of habits when it comes to blogging. Well I am going to try to work on this…a little. No promises, but I will try.

So as a recap Thanksgiving came and went and was very enjoyable. We spent the day before Thanksgiving at mom and dads baking pies. Cameron was our little helper.

Christmas was nice. We enjoyed the company of our families. Traveling from Clinton to Woods Cross, and then back to Clearfield on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, made for a lot of driving, but well worth it.

And now you ask what did I get for Christmas welllll….drum roll please… I got a new axle. I know, I know please don’t be jealous. No really Fernando had a little mishap in the snow and ice and ended up curbing the car and having to be towed.

Needless to say the money that we had planned on spending for Christmas presents on each other went towards the deductible for the axle. Ahhhh good times. Fernando felt awful about this, he felt as if he ruined Christmas for me, but honestly I don’t feel like I missed anything whatsoever.

We had a wonderful time decorating our tree this season. I finally feel like I can buy decorations and stick with a theme and color since we have purchased our home. Being as this is our first Christmas in our home we will still need to work on adding to our decorations, all in time though. I loved my tree and was very happy with the decorations. All though Fernando said our tree was droopy.


Fernando and I enjoyed the wonderful time we had with our families and honestly wouldn’t change anything about this past Christmas…ok maybe the whole axle thing. But really other then that we had a wonderful time.